Keeping Keeping On

Talking to my spirit guide again. I want to write a book one day. Not just about my life, but about fighting the good fight. I asked her today how I was going to get from here to there and how I could inspire anyone. I’m just a regular girl. Ya know. I used to have some pride in what I’ve accomplished, but now I’m working at a low-skill job, working crazy hours. I barely have time to write, exercise, or work on my goals.

What got me out of poverty the first time? It wasn’t magic. It was hard work. At the moment I feel like I’m working hard and getting nowhere. Today she told me to write another post about the keeping of keeping on.

I love you guys that keep me going. One day I’m going to write a book about perseverance, magical blue energy, yellow Corvettes and keeping keeping on.

Today I’m taking care of me.

Facebook Friends are Quite Possibly the Most Underrated Antidepressant

According to the internet, Facebook has created a generation of narcissists. Facebook makes you depressed and causes anxiety. If you read the internet at all and love your Facebook, you are doomed to be sad, narcissitic, lonely, and depressed. I call bullshit!

I decided to do some research on this. I think social media gets a bad rap. I have met all my besties online. Facebook is my diary, my entertainment, and my support system. Not that I couldn’t function without it if I had to, but I am highly suspicious of the research.

Most of the research on social media has focused on millennials and college students. There are a lot of factors contributing to the increase in depression and anxiety that haven’t been factored in. A Michigan State University study came to the same conclusions as me, Facebook can be good for your mental health.

Happiness is contagious, depression isn’t

Not enough research has been put into the benefits of social media use. According to the Michigan State University study, social media users are 63% less likely to experience serious psychological distress. Connecting with friends and family online actually helps social media users with depression and anxiety. This research contradicts previous research that places much of the blame for depression and anxiety in younger adults on social media use.

Healthy moods are contagious. According to a study by the University of Warwick, surrounding yourself with friends who have a positive outlook and healthy moods, even by way of social media, can improve your mood and mental health. Some people believe that being around depressed people will make you depressed, but research suggests otherwise. People with positive attitudes and healthy moods can help lift their friends out of depression. Depressed people do not have the same affect on their friends with healthy moods. Depression isn’t contagious, but a healthy mood is! I refer to this as blue energy. Another study by the Proceedings of the Royal Society B came to the same conclusions. Friendship and a healthy support system plays an important role in coping with depression.

It’s okay to like the like button

If you post selfies as much as I do, does that make you a narcissist? I don’t think so. I love the little hearts on my posts and pictures, and I say that’s okay. I have read some research about doing away with the like button. I dont know about you, but I am not interested in a Facebook without likes. The like feature is part of why people like Facebook. Its an easy way to communicate love, support, and affection to your Facebook friends. I like the like button and love the button! As I am researching this, I can’t find any research to support my conclusions. But, just like the research on Facebook causing depression was skewed, I believe more research is needed on the positive affects of Facebook love. I love my Facebook friends and I hope you keep the love coming!

Screw your Compounding Habits

This post goes out to my sister and friend who said you know what you need to do, now do it.

More than one of my friends have referred me to books about compounding habits. I actually like the books and the concept, although the author of Compounding Habits has his shit together so much that I can’t possibly relate with him. I do know what to do and how to do it because I’ve done it before.

Over the years I have read quite a few books on being successful, time management, and finding happiness. I’m a goals girl, not a habits girl. I try to incorporate advice I find useful into my life and ignore the rest.

My sister was talking to me about a book she is reading, Atomic Habits. It sounds really similar to Compounding Habits. The concept is that you make small changes to your routines and over time those changes compound. Well duh. If I could do that, I’d be awesome.

Every book I read is about creating order or routines. Now I think everyone knows I do value routines. My routine used to start with a Facebook post ending in, “Coffee. List. Goals. Routines.” However, these authors talking about habits is crazy talk to me.

Clean your room. If you clean your room, you will remove chaos from your life and therefore be happier. You’ve got it all backwards. If I was happier, I’d clean my room. 😁

Every book I read does not address my need for happiness in order for me to be productive. Of course I know what I need to do. It’s the doing it that’s difficult. When I am depressed getting out of bed is about the only thing I’m capable of.

Where am I going with this? I can’t do habits. If I could, my room would stay clean for longer than a week. But what I can do and do well at is making goals. Why do I like them better? Because I don’t have to stick with them. I have always operated on small goals that I can achieve and I’m getting back to that. This week’s goal is 5 blog posts. And next week I’ll make a new goal. This is exactly how I built my business the last time. I know how to do this.

You do what works for you. Imma do me. 💙

Go ahead and tell me I’m missing the point. I’m not. Every person who successfully lost weight or quit smoking has done it differently. You have to do what works for you.

Badass Goal Goddess

Play a game you can win

I recently read a blog post on giving up. I found it very interesting. We are so conditioned to the concept of never giving up and that giving up means losing. I’m a very persistent and passionate person. When I want something I go after it and I don’t stop till I get it. I’m not a happy loser and hate being defeated. Sometimes giving up is exactly the right thing to do. Sometimes the thing you are trying to beat is just not your game.

Anyone who knows me knows I am very transparent. I am not good at filtering and can’t hide my emotions. I suck at poker. I go all in and everyone knows what cards I’m holding. I never win because bluffing is not something I’m good at. Today me and the girl in the blue dress talked again.

I have this blue forcefield I use. I put it around me to keep me safe. Unfortunately that forcefield is thin. A tiny little pin prick bursts it and I’m defenseless. Today her and I talked about playing games you can win and ones you can improve on. I don’t have a magical forcefield to keep me from losing. But what I do have is strengths and things I’m good at.

There are games I play well. Ones that don’t require bluffing. One of them is ping pong. Maybe this is a lame example, but this is the one she gave me. My ex-husband and friends used to play it a lot. I could beat every girl and plenty of the guys. It was something I could practice and improve on. I used to go down to my basement and practice serving by myself. I’d go chase the ball and serve it again and again and again till I got good at it.

My spirit guide told me this morning to stop playing games I don’t like and I can’t win, and to practice the ones I enjoy and can improve on. You can’t win every game.

#blueenergy

Jaded

I googled jaded. I always understood it to mean cynical, but that’s not really what it means. It means lacking the ability to be enthusiastic.

This morning I was meditating and my spirit guide gave me some wisdom. She reminded me of my son Jeremy. Before I had Jeremy I had 3 pregnancy losses. The first time I got pregnant I was young and naive. I didn’t expect anything to go wrong. I still remember the way I felt when I miscarried. The second time I was cautiously optimistic. The third time I got pregnant I thought this can’t possibly go wrong. What are the odds.

The fourth time I got pregnant with my son Jeremy, I didn’t get excited. I wasn’t hopeful. In fact, I was certain he was going to be another miscarriage. I had heavy bleeding during the first 12 weeks of my pregnancy. I had no reason to expect that his pregnancy would go better than the ones before. I was jaded. It’s a feeling a little different than hopelessness. I wasn’t enthusiastic or excited. Those days of blissful excitement were over.

What I learned from this experience was that I loved my son in a more appreciative way when I had him. I was grateful and treasured him. I went into his pregnancy with no enthusiasm, no expectations of a happy ending, and when he was born I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.

Why am I sharing this? The universe told me there is joyfulness that comes after being jaded. Maybe you don’t go into things with the woosh of your heart, maybe your expectations are exceedingly low, maybe you can’t be excited anymore, maybe the universe is preparing you… For something amazing.

This was written for me.

Why I’m Better than a Porn Star

You can thank my sister for the interesting title. I really wanted my first post to be something different, but she insisted on this one and since she paid for the blog I’m going with it.

As you can imagine, the reason for the title was due to a conversation with the sis. I informed her that according to a friend, you can make 36k on pornhub. And maybe y’all think I’m conceited, but I’m pretty sure I could get 36k worth of views. Needless to say, my sister was not impressed and gave me the sis talk. So ok here I am sis. Why I’m better than a porn star. This is probably not going to be written the way you anticipated. Actually you know me pretty well so…

#1 I can turn you on without taking my clothes off

I bet you weren’t expecting that one sis. So yeh there is something to be said for pornography. I’m not a judger, but I also believe there is more to attraction than a naked body. Intelligence, substance, confidence, and integrity are more attractive than naked boobs. Go ahead and argue with me Facebook friends.

#2 I’m 100 percent real

No fake boobs, no fake orgasms. What you see is what you get. I’m a passionate, open person and comfortable with myself, flaws and all.

#3 I have more skills than a porn star

I’m not one to judge. I will say maybe it takes a little skill to be a porn star, but I don’t think so. I can make websites, do graphic design, write, create a business. And you know, fight aliens. Beat that one. 😁

That’s all I’ve got sis.

Badass alien fighter signing out. More tomorrow. Tomorrow’s post will be better. I had a rough morning fighting aliens with coffee. They hate when you drink coffee. 💙