Fast forward to age 28. At 28 I attempted suicide for the last time. I finally decided that I was never drinking charcoal or being checked into a psychiatric unit ever again. I wasn’t completely stable, but I was able to hide my bipolar disorder pretty well.

I started a moms website for support and it took off. It became much bigger than I ever imagined. My website was hugely successful and we grew so big that we were eventually approached by a really big company who bought us. At just before 35, I sold my business, my baby for more money than I ever would have dreamed possible.

Like, I had worked my butt off and was finally successful. I was living the American Dream. With the money, I bought a gorgeous house and welcomed my fifth kiddo into the world. Life was pretty awesomet… until it wasn’t.

In 2014, my world got flipped upside down. My 12-year-old daughter attempted suicide. Like her mom, she has issues with severe depression and emotion regulation. I was not at all prepared for what would happen next. All five of my children were taken from me and place into foster care. It was a long and expensive battle. The worst part is, I lost custody of my middle son. CPS actually tried to make me give up my rights to him in exchange for keeping my other kids. This nearly destroyed me.

I fought like hell, though. It took me a 18 months, tons of money, counseling, and jumping through all sorts of hoops to get my other children back. But losing my son… it was devastating The grief and depression almost killed me. It took me several years to be able to tell my story and even talk about it.

Losing custody of your children is about the most dehumanizing experience you can go through. My children, however, know how much I love them and what kind of mom I am. In 2018, I ran for office in Michigan and campaigned for Michigan State Representative. I had the support and love from my children. I use this blog and my YouTube channel to talk about the real life struggles people with bipolar disorder have. I also hope to help be a voice for families and people like me.

Nobody should lose their entire life or their children because of a treatable, manageble mental illness.

I hope that my website and YouTube videos helps others with Bipolar Disorder to have hope. There is always hope. No matter what you have experienced in your life, it can get better. You can get better.

Thank you for visiting me here at Girl with Blue Energy. If you’re new here be sure to check out my YouTube channel Girl with Blue Energy and subscribe!

Sincerely

Patty Malowney
The Girl With Blue Energy