This morning started out different. I fell asleep early last night. I hadn’t planned to fall asleep. Then, I woke up in the middle of the night and my contacts were still in my eyes. When I finally woke up again this morning I wasn’t ready to get up. But, I immediately remembered my challenge. I want each day to be a little better than the day before. So, get up girl, and go make your video.
Instead, I made coffee. I tried on the swimsuit I took “before” pictures in. I decided to take another picture just to see if I had made any visual progress on my “transformation”. I looked at the picture and thought nope, there’s still a bunch of cellulite, and where are those muscles? They’re all gone now. Sigh… I need to step it up.
My first thought was I need to start exercising more and burn some more fat. I need to step it up and do this faster. And, I thought about it quickly and dismissed it. Why? Because I know how to starve myself skinny and how to run myself down to 16 percent body fat. This time, my goal is different. I want to be healthy. I want to feel good about myself and my body — and starving myself and running myself into the ground doesn’t feel good or healthy, and it’s not the person I want to be.
When I was done being discouraged about my progress, I decided I needed to meditate. That was one of my goals for my transformation. And, I did meditate. My whole morning has been slowed down by personal reflection, thinking about (dreading) all the things I need to do today. And, then… meditation. I don’t have time for that? Who has time for meditating? But, I made the time.
I closed my eyes and relaxed. Then I went to a place in my mind. I’m not even sure what made me create this place. I was in the kitchen of a really old house. My spirit guide, who looks like a younger, hipper, cooler version of me, told me to sit down at the table and write.
The table was a really long, old-fashioned table and there was paper in front of me. When I sat down, I was like what do I write. And, she reminded me that the words are a gift. And, to just sit down and start writing. She told me to write my blog post first today and then make my video. Does this even make sense? I’m not sure why this was the message I heard today, but from the very beginning of my challenge, I have been determined to listen to what I hear during meditation.
So here I am writing today’s blog post first. And then I am going to make my video. Yesterday, I watched some of them and I was like who is that girl. She’s really weird. I don’t even recognize her. But, the videos still inspire me. Even if they aren’t motivating or inspiring anyone else, they are serving their purpose for me.
I want to share something today. I started writing songs during the darkest period in my life. After my children were removed from my home, the house was so quiet. I remember sleeping all day just to keep myself from dying. And then one night, I started writing a song. I don’t even know what inspired me to try to write a song. I just felt led to do it. The words and the melody, they just popped into my head, almost as if someone else put them there. She reminded me of that experience today, and that my creativity is a gift. To me, it is a literal gift. And the words, when I am spirit-led, they just come to me.
So that’s what I got out of today’s meditation. Listen to your inner self and follow her lead. And, when you don’t know what to write, just start writing. Once you sit down and do it, you’ll know what to write about.
If you have a gift, nurture it. Make time for it. Put it on your to-do list today. What are you good at that you’re not spending time on? That you’re not making time for. For me, it’s writing and writing about things I want to write about. Not, all the writing I do for a living.
Today, I am reminded to make time for my talents and my passions. If you want to be a writer girl, make time for writing today.
Now for my video.
Stay spiritually-led. Stay focused. And listen to the voice in your own head.
Patty
The Girl with the Blue Energy
