It is still hard for me to focus on what went right. I like to think I am a positive person, but I am a lot more negative than I realize. I complain more than I want to. I criticize more than I want to. I regret more than I want to.
Today I meditated. It was brief. I didn’t get into that relaxed state I need to be in to fully engage with my spirit guide. But, I did get some direction. When I start pushing myself and making big goals, I feel like I am driving a fast car that’s about to crash. If I crash, all the plates I am spinning will crash.
I am trying to make a truly life-changing transformation during this challenge. Making the videos every day is cutting about 2 hours into my time right now. Seriously. They might not seem like they take much work but they do. But I am committing to making progress with this!
This morning’s workout was tough. I had to stop and pee at least 10 times during the one-hour workout. Something about the core work makes me need to pee. Plus, I have a nervous bladder, to begin with. But, I did it. It’s very hard for me to give up an hour of my day to this but you don’t get a great body by sitting on your butt.
My goal is to have a total transformation by the end of this journey. It’s funny because there have been so many obstacles this past week. I have asked myself why are you even doing this more than once. Because I want to be better. I want to achieve my goals.
So today during meditation I was overwhelmed with all the things I need to do. Trying to figure out what to do first and how to do it all. That is always the thing I struggle with and why I have taken productivity courses. When you have ADHD and bipolar even with training and knowledge we always have these new “squirrels” to chase. And for many people, this YouTube challenge is a squirrel. But hey it’s my squirrel.
I was guided to break up my day into TINY little challenges so as soon as I am done with this blog post, I am planning my day. Technically this should have been done yesterday, but I reset and regrouped yesterday. So, over the next couple days, I need to slowly get my habits back on track.
Onward and upward
One day at a time
The Girl with Blue Energy