This morning I woke up and thought, “I don’t have time for my routines.” I looked outside and it literally felt like the aliens were attacking. It was a perfect excuse for not taking a walk. I didn’t really have time for it this morning anyway. But, I was nudged to keep going. The disorder in my life has been ongoing. I don’t have good habits. I bite off more than I can chew. Then I mad scramble to get it done, meanwhile I don’t have time for anything else. No time to “unwind” and no time for working on things that are important to me — like having a clean house, spending time with my loved ones, etc.
This morning when I meditated I looked at my desk and there was this tangled up shit ball of yarn. I told my spirit guide I wanted to throw it in the trash. That’s how I deal with shit. Throw it out and buy a new one. She told me this is the only ball of yarn you’ve been given Patty. Sit down and start untangling it. Getting it untangled is going to be a lot of work and it’s going to be messy, but once it’s done you will have a ball of yarn you can actually work with and create something with.
What I got from this was this is that I am never going to have another life. This is it. I can start working on unraveling the mess and disorder, or I can continue being stressed out in knots and not being able to create anything beautiful with my ball of yarn. So today, I took my walk, did my morning routine consistently for the 24th day in a row. Slowly putting order into my life. And slowly unraveling the tangled up shit ball of yarn I have to work with.